Amy’s questions (Steve, relationships, 2022)

Philippe Bartu - 5/Mar/2022

"Is your commitment to staying passionately in love with each other natural or does it require work?"

I asked this question to Amy Hardison in our recently recorded episode for The Ultimate Coach Podcast that launches on March 29th. 🥳🥳🥳

Our beautiful conversation about love and relationships from the understanding of being was so honest and hopeful. Amy shared about the real struggles of her relationship and how she stays passionately in love while being married to Steve Hardison for 44 years and counting...

Amy responded with this list of questions that she describes as

"The work that has to be done to be passionately in love".

Here are some questions she frequently asks herself and has kindly given me permission to share them with you.

I invite you to read them about you.

1. What is the most loving thing I can do or say right now?

2. How quickly can I let this go?

Do a turn around and find something positive regarding this particular thought.

3. Is what I am doing, saying or thinking separating us or bringing us closer?

4. Where is my ego in this?

"There is real power in learning how to agree with others." Tyler and Taylor

5. Find five. Find five things Steve did today that were wonderful and amazing and express that to Steve each night.

6. What are 3 ways in which Steve's response is better than my natural response would have been?

7. Why am I doing what I am doing and saying what I am saying?

8. Where is my growth edge?

9. How can I use this to practice love?

10. Where am I being right?

Think about a situation. Replay, practicing the most enlightened responses possible.

11. Where has my mind gone down the road and made up things?

12. Did I slow down my thinking and responses?

13. What is my part in this? (Am I seeing myself without deception?)

14. Have I considered Steve's viewpoint? How would things be different if I did?

15. Am I doing the right thing, but am I doing it without love or fully giving of myself?

16. What is the bigger picture? Am I getting caught up in details that don't matter?

“Be curious, not judgmental.” Walt Whitman.

17. Ask myself why Steve is doing or saying something instead of making him wrong.

18. Am I going to war in my mind?

19. Where can I be more flexible?

20. Where can I find a third way that works for both of us?

"Good and evil can be defined solely in terms of the law of love. . . .A good act is one that leads to healing a broken relationship or growing in intimacy and meaning in existing relationships. . . . In contrast, an evil act is whatever injures or destroys a relationship. . .or leads to alienation or separation. . . . We know that violating the law of love is a foolish choice to be miserable rather than to experience happiness and joy—and it is utter stupidity of the silliest sort to choose misery when we could choose joy." Blake T. Ostler