Appendix: TBOLITNFL transcript and epilogue (extra chapter)

NOTE: Enormous gratitude to freelance editor Jessica Kelley for her relentless work in ensuring this transcript was platinum-grade!

Appendix: TBOLITNFL transcript and epilogue

Here is a fascinating story of awakening, empowerment, and transformation. It is about stepping into the power of personal internal commitment. Our experience has been that those who hear or read this story are profoundly moved, not only because they are inspired, but also because they see how they can apply the same principles and tap into the power that is theirs and become who they truly want to be. This is the real power of this story: It is your story—or can be… This is truly an exceptional story. While I am tempted to invite you to sit back, read, and enjoy, I think it better to advise you to sit on the edge of your seat, devour every word, and transform your life. — Amy Hardison

On October 30, 2010, Steve Hardison shared what has come to be known as the TBOLITNFL story at the University of Utah’s Rice-Eccles Stadium, to an audience of approximately 600 people.


On October 30, 2010, Steve Hardison shared what has come to be known as the TBOLITNFL story at the University of Utah’s Rice–Eccles Stadium, to an audience of approximately 600 people.


Introduction by Brandon Craig

By way of housekeeping, I’m gonna make a request. And this needs to be heard differently than it normally is. So, most of us have cell phones on our hips or in our purse. My request—and this may be the hardest thing you have to do today—my request is that you turn these off. Not just on vibrate, because that will interrupt you. It will serve you if you do this. So that’s my request: that you’ll actually turn your phones off, and give yourself the next two hours, dedicate the next two hours, to you. Don’t let your cell phone be something that corrupts. That’s the first request.

The next request is that Steve has requested that no one do—other than those that are authorised to—nobody does any video recording or voice recording. That way everything can be kept in context. We’ll want to make sure that that occurs. And then you guys were each given a packet at the front door. Those packets are to remain sealed until Steve instructs you to do something with them. So that’s another request made by Steve.

Now, it’s my honour to be able to stand before you today, and I want you to know that there’s not another place in the whole world that I would rather be than right where I’m at right now.

I speak to you from a place of gratitude to be able to be in the room with the people that are here. I know I don’t know all of you, but I know many of you have rearranged your world and have shifted things and moved things, and it’s been difficult to be here today, and I acknowledge you for that.

And I acknowledge everyone else that has just shown up, and you’re not sure why you’re here. Because there are some of you in the room too, there’s some of you that have come because somebody has just said to you, ‘Hey you have to come’, and you trust them. Or maybe they talked you into it. And I want you to know that the next two hours of your life will be the best two hours of your life. If you let it.

The Deuce Lutui story is about a human being, somebody that made a conscious decision. Deuce is no different than the rest of us, and we’re gonna learn that.

I met Steve Hardison back in the spring of 1996. I was working for a company that hired him to come in and coach the two owners of the company. I didn’t know Steve from anyone back then. All I saw was this tall guy that walked around with a smile and sort of had this appearance… and I’ll tell you, at first glance I might have judged him a little bit. And I remember thinking, ‘Who is this guy that thinks he can come in here and really shift this company?’

This is back in 1996, so as time goes on I see the company changing, and I go to the two guys that own the company and I say, ‘Listen’, and at the time I was a sales consultant for them, I said, ‘I’d like to meet this guy. I’d like to get some time with him’.

And they said, ‘Well, you’d have to pay for it’. So, I requested that they pay for it, and after some time of working through the process they said, ‘Okay’. They gave me one hour with Steve. I want you to know that that hour changed my life. But I didn’t know it would. In fact, I showed up five minutes late to that meeting.

Anybody that knows Steve Hardison knows that when you’ve scheduled time with him, you don’t be late. And I was. And that was my first lesson. Among other things, I gained a deep respect for him. And what he doesn’t know—or I guess we’ve talked about it since—but the things I learned in that hour reshaped my life, and I moved through my life differently because of what I learned from him.

It’s because of who he was at the time, and how he talked to me. So, we fast-forward to the summer of 2007. I’m moving through life fast, like all of us in this room. And I run into a restaurant. I’m by myself. I rarely eat lunch by myself, but I do this day. And I walk in, and I sat down. I’ve got my food, and I look over, and guess who I see?

I see Steve Hardison. He’s eating lunch with the CEO of the company I used to work for years and years ago. And so I go in and I eat my food. And then, on my way out I stop, and I say ‘Hello’ to Reece.

And then I introduced myself to Steve, and Steve says, ‘Do we know each other?’ And I said, ‘Well, I know you. You’re Steve Hardison. You changed my life’.

And he said, ‘Well, I don’t remember you’. So, I got through that quickly, and we exchanged information and I left. And it was kind of a pleasure to see him.

An hour and a half later I pull into my office, and guess who’s walking out of my office? Steve Hardison. And so we have a conversation together for about an hour.

One week from that time, I wrote Steve a cheque to coach with him. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

But today, this is not about Steve Hardison. It’s not about me. It’s not about my experiences. This is about you. Every single person in this room, you’ve done something to be here, and something’s moved you to be here. And I promise you, that if you open your mind, and you will just be with yourself today, you’ll leave different. That’s a guarantee.

Now some of you—each of you—have the opportunity to take whatever position you want today. As we sit together for the next few hours, you get to choose how you’re going to receive this. Some of you are gonna find yourselves having a little battle between your thoughts of who this guy is, or who Deuce is, or ‘How does this apply to me?’

I’m making the request to you that you’ll actually just be with yourself. If you will do this, I promise you that your life will be different. That you will actually be able to move through your life differently going forward than you did when you got here.

There’s very few people that I’ve ever met or that I’ve ever been with that have the kind of impact that Steve Hardison has had on me as an individual.

But what’s so great is I have the ability to live in the same town as him. So I know a lot of people that he knows, and I’ve actually got to watch this occur multiple times in multiple settings.

There’s nobody I’ve ever met that is more committed to another person than him. And I promise you, that if you’ll hold that space today, he’ll be that committed to you. That’s what has him be here.

You know, everything that everyone’s done to have this event occur, not a single person is being paid to be here. Some people generously donated so that the building could be leased out, but nobody paid money to get in. Every single thing that we’ve done has been about you. Let’s get you in the room, and let you experience what’s possible for you.

I want to acknowledge Deuce Lutui for his courage. For the courage he had to do whatever he did that put him and Steve together. That has created this whole thing, and this thing about him, about TBOLITNFL, is more than just him. It’s more than just Steve. It’s all about you. It’s all about me. And it’s what we can do. It’s who we can be.

I started out by saying there’s no place I’d rather be in the whole world than standing right here. Most of you probably don’t really understand that, because you’re just like, ‘Okay, look, I got here, and here I am. And somebody told me to come’.

I promise you, that if you’re willing to be open in your mind, and listen, and look, you will say the same thing I just said.

To me, it’s like not even a question now. Steve will do anything. I’ve never seen anybody that’s willing to do more to serve somebody than him. He’s willing to go the extra mile. There’s nothing he won’t do to serve another human being. And I’ve watched it in the last two weeks. I already knew it, but I’ve watched it occur, as he’s done things, and helped people, and created ways that other people would help other people. And he’s here for you today. Each of you individually. Each person in this room.

And you’re here for you. If you’re not here for you, get here for you. Do whatever you have to do in your mind so that you’re really here for you. And it’s my promise that it will be worth it. Can you hear that? Thank you for your attentiveness. Thank you for your respect. Thank you for the way that you’re listening. This is what we need for the next two hours. This will serve you. It’s my pleasure to introduce Steve Hardison.



* * *

Steve Hardison

Thank you, Brandon. That was very gracious of you, I appreciate it. Thank you so much…

This is actually the first time I’ve ever worn a headset and done this. This is actually new to me. I’m not a paid public speaker. They did a little camera thing today, and I said ‘You’re gonna have to show me how to do all that, I’ve never done it before’.

I’m very thankful to be here today. I grew up in Clearfield [Utah, USA]. I went to Weber State [University, Ogden, Utah]. My wife and I both graduated from Weber State, when it used to be called Weber State College. And as I come into the valley, I come off the 6th South, and I went by what used to be the Rodeway Inn. I was a linen boy at the Rodeway Inn. I remember flipping mattresses, and getting dirty linen, and dirty glasses…

When I look out and see who’s in the audience, I’m actually taken by it. And so you have to forgive me if I get emotional. There’s a young man that came up to me, named Joe Begay. He lived with my uncle, we were in junior high together. I haven’t seen him for a long time. And it’s kind of an amazing thing to see somebody you haven’t seen for a while. And I see people I went to high school with. Of course, my family’s here. There’s my wife; where have you been? I wondered if you were gonna make it!


Embraces his wife, Amy.


I would like to thank Brandon for the way he introduced me, and the attention you’re giving me. Many of you have flown on an airplane, and you’ve listened to the gal talk about doing the seat belt, there’s a guy talking about doing the seat belt. And do you remember how much attention you paid to those people?

So, there’s a couple ways you can listen. You can listen like you’ve heard this before or be in your own mind, or you could listen like the steward or the flight attendant said we’re going to crash. You’d listen from a different way, wouldn’t you? If you’re on the plane. Yeah, he or she says, ‘We’re going to crash’, and all of a sudden your magazine’s not important.

And whatever’s going on, and you haven’t heard this before, and they’re gonna give you instructions on how to save your life, or possibly save your life, or increase the odds of saving your life. That’s how I would like you to listen.

Not because it’s me speaking. Because it is your life. It is actually your life. And to have this many people in one place to be concentrated on one thing is really, really profound. I honestly do not care if you remember my name. I care that what you remember is what you might experience inside yourself. That when we’re through today, what would be possible is for you to see something (and I’m not questioning how great you already are) that you would see something you hadn’t seen before, because I was able to share with you something I did with another human being. And you could see how that would be possible in your own life in your own way.

My promise is that, if you do that, no matter your age, no matter how old or young you are, no matter how successful or unsuccessful you are, no matter how happy or unhappy you are, that will occur in an extraordinary way.

This TBOLITNFL didn’t exist until September 7th [2010]. Those letters weren’t even put together. Somebody spoke a commitment of that, and 54 days later we’re sitting here, and we’re going to talk about it.

It did not exist. I got an email today from Paris. The gentleman told me he got a copy [of the story] from a gentleman in Luxembourg. And that came from Germany. I’ve got emails from people that read on the website about TBOLITNFL and said, ‘You know, I don’t know who Steve Hardison is. I don’t know who Deuce Lutui is, but what I do know is that I’m going to be the best confectioner in all of Scotland’. And she writes TBOLITNFL with cupcakes. And then when she goes to the oceanside, she takes seashells and writes TBOLITNFL in seashells with a heart under it.

I have never in my 25 years of what I do, I’ve never been recorded, I’ve never been videotaped, I’ve never been interviewed for TV. All of these are firsts. That’s not because I want to do them.

I’ve worked for 20 years one-on-one with CEOs of companies, and they wanted to record what I said or if they had me speak to their company they want it recorded, I say, ‘No’. I’d like them to listen now. I don’t want to say something that somebody goes and listens to later.

And so, as Deuce and I were doing what we’re doing—which I’m going to share with you—I told him, ‘Deuce, I just need you to know I’m not gonna have anything recorded’. I’ll go speak, but I’m not gonna have anybody record it. I’m certainly not gonna have them televise it. And I don’t need anybody to interview me.

And then I woke up one morning… No, I didn’t wake up. It woke me up. It woke me up and wrote through me. And I’m gonna read what came through me. I don’t normally read when I speak to a group or to people, or when I do my coaching.

I’ve coached one client for 18 years. I’ve never written a note. I’ve never tried to teach him anything. I don’t have any files. If you came into my office you’d think, ‘Dude doesn’t even have any files. Doesn’t even have a computer!’

Because I’m just with the person. So, this wrote through me. I’m gonna do something I don’t think I’ve ever done in a church talk, or somewhere else and that’s like go over and read something out of a book, something that I wrote. That’s not what I do. But, I want to do that with you today, because I want you to know why I’m willing to have somebody photograph me or…

I have nothing special to say any more than any of you do. Except now I do from a place I can see it would be useful to share it with the world.

But before I do that, let me tell you how I got here. I did not try to come here. This is not something I was trying to get done. I had an experience with Deuce Lutui—and I love that man dearly, he’s amazing—I had an experience with him.

And, as I do with my clients, it’s confidential except if there’s something very powerful. I have the right to tell anyone about any of my clients. I tell them that. ‘This is totally confidential. Except, if there’s something great, you’ve got the biggest blabbermouth in the world making sure that people know you’re great.’

So, my son who I work with—and I give him a great big zero discount. My son pays me exactly what anyone else who hired me paid me. You know why? Because I want my son to be as committed as the other people are. So, my client is my son and I tell him about my other client. I tell him about Deuce Lutui. And I just tell him the story. And he goes and he tells the owner of his company this story. And the owner of that company calls me up and says, ‘You know, your son Blake told us about Deuce Lutui. Would you be willing to come and tell that story to us?’

I said, ‘That’s not what I do. That’s not what I do for a living. You can put it on a website, go read it’.

And he was very compelling. He did the leverage like, ‘Hey wait, your son works at our company, come help our company’.

And I said, ‘Listen, I’ll give you one hour’.

He said, ‘Okay, we’re gonna have 12 people from our company. They will come over and they’ll listen to you for one hour’.

So I go to a place called King’s Fish House restaurant in Tempe, Arizona. And there’s supposed to be 12 people there. And there’s 60 people. That fit in a place that about 48 people can fit. And when I go in, I’m scheduled to be there 1 pm to 2 pm. They didn’t have their lunch at 1 pm. Now if you were in that King’s Fish House restaurant—if there’s anybody that was in that restaurant, stand up.


Counts seven people standing up.


The only seven that will experience this in life. The seven of us.

And I said to them, ‘I don’t want to compete with you eating lunch. I’m so sorry I’m speaking over your lunch’.

And then I just talked to them from the bottom of my heart about what had happened. Like I shared with my son, people went out of that room and did things that were unbelievable. I didn’t ask them to go do anything. They were touched by what they learned. One man went out of that room, and he saw this TBOLITNFL, and he went and hired a sign that eight seconds out of every minute, 24 hours a day, for 30 days, flashes that up there, so people would see it and go over and read the story about Deuce Lutui. He paid that out of his own pocket. Another guy distributed it around the world to 32,000 people. They just shared the story. And this just went crazy from a one-hour conversation at a restaurant.

So, that had probably been about the 58th time I had shared the story, not in public, just to people. I felt so much passion about what could happen. I kept telling the story over and over. And then I was telling a Dr Gibson down in California the story, my voice is about gone. I had no voice left, from telling this story over and over again.

So, he was friends with Julie Blake, who’s really been responsible—I don’t mean by herself, you know, no one can do this by themselves—but she’s the one who’s been responsible to get everyone together. And he told her a little bit about this story.

She calls me up, she says, ‘We need to do something about your voice’. And she does stuff with voices. So, the next morning I wake up and there’s an mp3 thing. It says, ‘This is for you Steve. Here’s what you do this morning to get your voice back’. And then I told her about Deuce Lutui.

Well, I made a wrong decision there, because she called me later and she said, ‘Hey, would you come up to Utah and do whatever you did in that restaurant?’

I said, ‘No, that’s not what I do. Just go read the website. Share it yourself’.

And I’m in my wife’s office, I’ve got an office of my own, she’s got one. So, I’m having this conversation back and forth with Julie, but my wife’s overhearing it.

And I said, ‘Julie, I don’t want to travel someplace to go talk to people about that. If they want to come, here’s what I do, this is what I do for a living. I really don’t like travelling that much. I ran a worldwide semiconductor company, and if I never ate in a restaurant, or got in a plane again, that’s too soon for me’. And I mean that literally.

So my wife’s just this wonderful lady, she has no malice, I never hear her speak meanly about anyone, she’s just kind and gracious. She says, ‘Oh, Steve, don’t we have to be up to BYU for that symposium that I’m speaking at on the 29th?’

And Julie Blake kind of overhears that, and says, ‘Oh, wow, check that out! So you’re already gonna be up here, huh?’ I said, ‘Okay, okay, here’s what I’ll do’. Somebody’s kind of grilling me: ‘What time do you start? What time do you finish? When does Amy finish?’

And I said, ‘She doesn’t finish till 1 pm’. I said: ‘Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll give you two hours, 2:30 pm to 4:30 pm. You tell me where to be, and I’ll be there on two conditions. Number one: that everyone knows I’m not coming up to teach them a doggone thing. And: that nobody’s charged anything to hear this story. It would be like putting 300, 400, 500, 600—whatever we have here—people in the living room. And I’m just simply gonna tell the story.’

That’s how I’m here. So any other reason you could make up, or anybody that watches that tape or whatever, they’re making that up in their head.

My life’s great where I’m at. I could stay in my little—I call it the shed, that’s my office—with the people I’m with. That’s why I’m here.

Now, my commitment is to share this story with you like it’s the last story I ever get to tell. Like it’s the last time I ever get to speak. And my promise is: I’ll do that. But before I do, I want to read you what I wrote. Not what I wrote like my ‘logic’. What came through me that will allow me to tell this story and be videoed or filmed.

So, with your permission, I want to read something here. And bear with me, and stay with me.

I’m gonna read what I wrote. I’m gonna read it exactly as it is, if the grammar is bad, or if I said something, it’s just how it is, I’m gonna read it exactly like it came, there’s no editing on this thing.

Though I’m telling this story, and I participated with Deuce in this story, it is not about me, it is not about Deuce. It is about you. Please help me as I tell this story. Please know that I’m just a man, and I will make mistakes in sharing it.

I could get a date or a number wrong. Please forgive me. Please get the essence of this story. I could get some chronology confused. Please forgive me for that. Just get the essence of the story. Please know that what I am going to say or what I’m going to react is not me saying that you want to do this, or that it’s the right way it should have been done, or it is even a good way, or that it’s the best way. It just happens to be the way I did it. So, I’m just going to tell you exactly how it happened. But you’ll have to forgive me if that offends somebody, or if that’s, ‘Wow, that guy doesn’t like people’ or ‘Man, he’s angry, what’s wrong with him?’

There may be some in the audience that could be offended by things I did or said in what I’m calling the Deuce Lutui story. My own daughter, Steffany, was going to join us at the presentation in Tempe, and my wife reminded me how sensitive she is to loud noises—imagine me being her father!—or anything that could look unkind or violent.

I told Steff what would occur. She thanked me, and she chose not to attend. She simply read the story that my wife had written from all the emails.

So, if any of you are like my daughter, and you want to leave now, or you want to sit by a door in case you’ve had some experience, because I might raise my voice or I might do something, it might offend you or scare you, get toward the edges. That’s not my intention, that’s not what I’m trying to do.

My intention is that everyone in this room be riveted on the essence of this story, to see how it is their story. For those few of you, and it would be very few, who may find zero correlation, please accept my apology now. I know how valuable your time is, and I do not want to waste it. That is not my intention.

Thank you all for your generous listening. Thank you for your support. I want you to pull for me. I want you to be out there assisting me. Helping remember how to tell this. Helping to say something that will be effective for me.

Have it where you’re for me. Be in the room. Forget about if I’m ‘too thin’, or ‘too tall’, or ‘what does he make?’ Drop that away. Pull for me in every way you can pull for me. I promise you, to the extent that you do this, you would be blessed from the things that you’ll see for you.

Please know that this is a story of two people having several conversations. It is not a seminar. It is not a motivational speech. And yet some of you may be motivated. It is simply a story being shared, that someone asked me to share. Julie Blake.

And I’m going to share it like it’s the last time I ever got to share. Please forgive me if my passion, or my intensity, or my way of being hurts or offends any of you. That is not my intention. What may be perceived by some of you to be anger, frustration, unkindness etc, is actually commitment and love in a different package.

Please know that I honour all belief systems, including the belief system of not believing. I am not so concerned with what you believe, as I am that you live what you believe. If you are an atheist, please be a kick-butt-there-ain’t-no-god atheist. Please know that if and when I refer to ‘god’, I am referring to your god, the god of your understanding. And if you have no god, I’m referring to that for you.

Please forgive me if I say something that offends your particular belief system. That is not my intention. My intention is that no matter what you do, or believe, or don’t believe, it is that you get the essence of this story, and that you put it to your specific belief system. When I talk about creating, I’m not wanting to compete with God, or even be seen as minimising God, the god of your understanding.

I’m talking about you partnering with God, the god of your understanding. If I say something that doesn’t fit into your particular belief system, throw it out if it doesn’t work for you, and get whatever golden nuggets you can get. Please forgive me if I say something that makes you think I’m belittling God, or something you believe. I’m not.

Please do not waste your time trying to make sense of me. My wife still can’t figure me out, we’ve been married 33 years [2010]. I am here simply to tell this story, that’s it. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t need you to do anything. I’m here to tell a story. What I ask you to do with any of the extra time that you’d be up here looking at me, and deciding about me, or ‘Does he make sense’, or ‘Who is he?’ I ask you to take that time and make sense of yourself.

I ask you that you literally sit here today and make sense of who you are. Who’s sitting in the chair. Make sense of how the essence of this story can be useful in your extraordinary life. And for all the other whatever-elses I could say or do, or not say or do, that could cause you to focus on me rather than focus on the essence of this story, forgive me.

This is about you.


Don’t compare your religious philosophy with the story. Get the essence of the story and allow it to assist you in the beauty of whatever your religious spiritual secular philosophy is. I’m not talking about religion. Go get that at your church, your mosque, your synagogue, your men’s or women’s club. Again, if I do or say something that sounds like I’m disrespecting you or your beliefs, forgive me, that is not my intention. My intention is that this story allows you to see what it is important for you, and what it is for you to have a personal internal commitment, if you choose to.

Now, I would like to tell you what happened to Deuce Lutui and me. I’ve kind of got a soft heart, and I actually really do care about people. On September 5th [2010], I got up on a Sunday morning, and I opened up the Arizona Republic. And there was an article there about Matt Leinart, who played for USC.

And here’s a little of the background: He was the Heisman Trophy winner, national championship team, drafted in the first round, went to the Cardinals, and as a rookie, played. Played fair, but for a rookie it’s a tough game. Then the Cardinals go and draft Kurt Warner. He comes in, and he’s a superstar. So Matt Leinart goes to second on the chart for two years.

So then when Kurt retires, Matt’s number one again. The Cardinals now get another quarterback, Derek Anderson. He beats out Matt Leinart. Not only beats him out so Matt Leinart is at second, he’s not even signed to be with the team. The team is going to release him.

That’s what I read in the morning of September 5th on Sunday, and I’m sure it looked to my wife like I’ve been reading the obituaries. Like, ‘Who died?’ Well, who died for me was Matt Leinart. Not Matt Leinart the football player, Matt Leinart the human being. Like, where was he at right now, that day? Where was he sitting? What room was he in?

And some people say, ‘Oh, he made a lot of money. Who cares?’

No, where’s he at? I literally thought, ‘Where is he sitting right now?’

ESPN is saying, ‘He’s not on that team, nobody wants to pick him up’. My papers say, ‘He’s a washout’.

Just like, where’s the man sitting? Where’s he at right this minute? I’d like to go be with him. So, my wife says, ‘What are you gonna do?’

I say, ‘I’m gonna find out where he’s at’.

‘Well, what would you do?’

I would talk to him. His problems had nothing to do with football. The outcome was football, the symptoms were football, but the cause wasn’t football.

So I said to my wife, ‘I’m gonna go try to get with Matt Leinart’. I don’t know Matt Leinart. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t need to know me, if I could have a little time with him, I could actually assist him. And I could actually get with him if he didn’t know me, if I could find out how to get to him. So I go do what I do. I went and sat down in the chair, and I thought about it.

This is Sunday morning September 5th [2010]. And the thought comes to me, ‘Oh! Call Vai Sikahema’. I knew Vai when he was 20ish. I watched him play at BYU. I watched him when he played at St Louis. I watched him when he played at Phoenix. My wife and I have stayed at his home. I consider him a dear friend. I consider his family close to us. So I call Vai. I think he’ll know somebody that can put me in touch with Matt Leinart.

So I get hold of Vai, he’s on the line, it’s on a Sunday, and he says, ‘I got a meeting to be in’. And Vai knows who I am, so I didn’t have to take a long time to explain it. He knew I was genuinely wanting to help this person. I didn’t want to help him so he’d be a client. I wanted to help him because that’s what I do. So, he says, ‘You know I got to be in a meeting. I’ll get back with you.’

So, all Sunday I was like looking at my [phone] to see if I got the information. He said, ‘I know the name of the guy you need to get a hold of. His name is Deuce Lutui’. Up to that point I knew Deuce Lutui played on the Cardinals, and I’d seen him at a high school football game, but if he came into a lineup and said, ‘You got to pick out Steve Hardison or you’ll die’, he’d be dead. He wouldn’t know me from anyone. So I’m just hoping I get a call from him.

So, I don’t get a call, I get a text late at night on Sunday. This is from Vai Sikahema. He says, ‘Here’s Deuce’s phone number. You can call him or text him’. So, it’s Sunday night. He’s not gonna know who I am. I call him up on the phone, get his message machine.

I leave him a message, and I say, ‘Deuce, my name’s Steve Hardison’. And I told him what I just told you. I told him I read the paper. I wondered where Matt Leinart was. I think he could be helped if I could get in the same room with Matt. Because I can’t do what I do on the phone. I have to have a human being with me. I need to see them.

So, I’m leaving this message: ‘So, if you can hook me up with him, I’d like to help him.’

The next day, which is now Monday, Deuce and I ping-pong calls. He calls me late Monday night, which would be Labor Day.

(Thank you all for staying here with me. Stay with this. I promise you it’s worth your time. I’m giving enough background so it’ll make sense, what happened. This is not about Deuce. It’s not about me. It’s about the guy or gal sitting in your chair. And you will see that, I promise you. Please keep your mind in this room.)

So, we’re together as a family, we’re having dinner. I walk out to go to the bathroom. I come back, my daughter says, ‘Hey, your phone rang, but I didn’t know if you wanted me to answer it’.

So I called the message, and it’s Deuce Lutui. I missed him. So, I dialled him back, and while I’m leaving him a message, he calls back in on my line. I said, ‘This is Steve’.

He says, ‘Steve, Deuce Lutui. What’s up bro?’ And I say, ‘Did you listen to my message? Did you hear what I said?’

And it was kind of a ‘yes’, but you knew it didn’t happen, do you know what I mean? He did not listen to my message, or he wouldn’t ask me what he’s asking me.

So I rebuilt the whole thing. I told him what I wanted to do. So I’m telling this story over and over again to try to get to this Matt Leinart. If I can just get in a room with him. And so Deuce says, ‘Oh so you only do this face-to-face?’

I said, ‘Yes’.

He said, ‘You won’t be able to help Matt Leinart then, because he’s gone to Texas. He’s with the Houston Texans’.

That wasn’t in the paper, so this is information he has before we had it. And so I said, ‘Thanks a lot, I appreciate Vai giving me your number, I appreciate you calling me. What I will do is I will call Vai and tell him thanks. So, thanks a lot Deuce’.

And I’m ready to say goodbye to this guy.

He says to me, ‘Would you do with and for me what you were going to do with and for Matt Leinart?’

That’s how this happened. I’m ready to hang the phone up, and say goodbye.

I said, ‘What do you mean?’ He says, ‘Would you help me?’

Man, that’s like music to my ears. My life is about helping. Like, somebody wants my help, I got it.

So I said, ‘Tell me your schedule’.

And he said, ‘We practice all day today on Labor Day’. He said, ‘I get one day off a week. It’s Tuesday’.

I said: ‘Deuce, I’ll make you a promise. If you will go out into the future, and pick a Tuesday that works for you, and find one that works where we could be together two to three hours, and get back with me, I’ll get a time when we can be together on a Tuesday.’

Now, I have clients on Tuesdays, and some come from out of the country, some come from out of the state, some are right locally, so I said, ‘It would depend what Tuesday you’re talking about, and I promise you I’ll do that with you’. And I said, ‘Do you understand our agreement?’

And I barely know him, but I like to make sure people are clear about what I’m gonna do, and what I’m not gonna do. And he said, ‘Yeah, you want me to figure out a time where we can get together. You want me to call you, and you’ll give me two or three hours’.

I said, ‘That’s right’, and I said, ‘Do you have any other questions?’

He said, ‘I just have one. Do you know what tomorrow is?’

And I said, ‘It’s Tuesday’.

He says, ‘Can we get together tomorrow?’

I like that, too. I like that a lot. And then I said, ‘You know, I have two clients tomorrow. Tomorrow probably wouldn’t be that good’.

‘Can I come over tonight?’

I don’t even know where he’s calling from. I do not know where he’s calling from. He wants to know if he can come over. I said: ‘You know, we have family over for dinner, that wouldn’t be good. But I’ll tell you what, if you come over tomorrow between this time and this time, and you need to be on time, and we need to end on time, then I’ll work with you tomorrow.’

And he said to me—and I’m gonna tell you ahead of time, I like this too!—‘Tell me where to be, and what time, and I’ll be there’.

So I told him, ‘Be here at X time, and we’re gonna finish at Y time. If you’re not here before X time, I won’t be spending any time with you. Be here on time’.

Then I joked a little bit, I said, ‘Sometimes I understand you don’t wear wrist watches, and time is a different factor for you. Don’t do that with me’.

So, on September 7th [2010], at 1 minute before X, I go to my front door. Ding dong.

I open up the door. How many of you have ever seen someone 6’4” [193 cm] (wink wink, nod nod), 386 pounds [172 kg]?

This is the 5X jersey, this is his literal jersey. This is what he wears. That is standing at my front door. When I open the door and I look at it I really thought—and I got a son who has good 20-inch arms here, and he looks like a weenie, wimp, what do you call it? Just a dinky dude compared to this guy that’s standing out there.

Deuce looks like he has legs coming out of his arm sockets. They look like legs. I mean, they’re huge. And I looked down at his calves and I thought, ‘Those are his. They’re hooked onto his legs. Those are big’.

He walks in, and he goes to hand me his hand. And I said, ‘Look, if I’m gonna work with you, I don’t do shaking hands. Can I give you a hug?’

And he said, ‘Sure!’

How many of you have hugged somebody you can’t get all the way around?

This guy’s big. And I hug him, and I say, ‘Come on in, and have a seat’.

I’m telling you, the next 45 minutes I spent was like being in heaven. This guy sits in my living room. I was fed by a man who understands God, nature, people, love, family. He tells me about coming from Tonga, and what Tonga was like. He tells me about coming to America. He talks about his wife. He talks about his children. He talks about wanting more children. He talks about a violent accident that killed his younger sister, that put his father in a long-term coma, and his brother in a coma.

He talks about the king of Tonga. I’ve never heard anyone in my life talk about another living person like Deuce Lutui talked about the king of Tonga. It was an amazing experience. For about 45 minutes we sat there. And this huge man in spirit, and in heart, and in body, began to cry. Tears coming down his eyes.

And he said, ‘Would you please do with me whatever you were going to do with Matt Leinart?’

And I said: ‘Deuce, I can’t do with you what I was going to do with Matt Leinart. Because you’re not Matt Leinart. I can do with you what we can do with you Deuce. But let’s go out in my office.’

So we walk out—it’s out in my backyard—we go to get in my office. I’m walking him to my office, and I really don’t know this man I’m with. Like you would know someone like this [gestures around him]. But I am in love with this guy. He owns my heart. I feel like I’ve known him forever.

As we walked to my office, I said: ‘Deuce, I need to tell you something. Where I do my work is for me the most sacred place on Earth. Because, what I do in this office with people is, we really look at who they really are.’

I open up the office to have him go in, he starts to step into my office, he backs out. He wants to know what it is that he senses. He takes his shoes off, and goes in and sits down on my couch.

The couch could hold four people, and one and a half Deuce Lutuis! He sits in my couch, and he begins to look around my office. Because everything in my office is something someone created. A picture of Christ pencilled by a Christian. A statue of Buddha. Praying hands. Angels. I’m open for people to have plenty of ways to believe. I don’t have the right way. And so I’ve got everything. And he’s looking like this [stares around the room]. I’ve got a Tibetan bowl from the Dalai Lama sitting in the corner, given to me by a very good friend and client.

So he said, ‘What do you do in here?’

And I said, ‘We create miracles. We create miracles in this room’. I said, ‘Do you have anything else you want to tell me before we begin?’

He talked for another 45 minutes, and it was like being in heaven again for 45 minutes. It was unbelievable, what he shared, what he thought, how he felt.

And I could see a few things that would stop him from excelling in his life. We never talked about football in all that time of… an hour and a half.

And then he shared some very intimate things with me, that I regard as treasured in my life, that someone would trust me that much to talk to me.

Then I said to him, ‘Do you have anything else you want to say?’

And he says, ‘Nope. Let’s do whatever it is you do’.

I said, ‘Okay’.


Steve calls Chris Dorris up from the audience to role play the scene.


So, he’s sitting across from me, and again as I’m looking over there I’m having a little bit of a time trying to stay with it because I’ve never seen anything this big.

And I mean, I’ve got to get my mind there, like he’s big. He’s sitting back on the couch, but his chest is coming clear out. I’m just kind of a skinny guy, but I weigh 220 [pounds, 100 kg], he weighs 386 [pounds, 175 kg] (nod nod, wink wink).

He’s like that. So I’m sitting across from him, and there’s no desk in my office, it’s just me and him. And I’m sitting knee-to-knee with him, and he says, ‘No, I’m ready’.

And I’m thinking, ‘Okay’.

I have two chairs… come on up, Chris. Do not try this at home. And again, I’m not saying any of you should do this. This isn’t a technique. This is what became present in being totally in love with another human being. Wanting to help that human being see something.

And if what I could have done at that time is to cut one of my toes and drained it so we’d see it, I would have cut my toe and drained it. And I mean that with all my heart.

So, we’re sitting like this… I’m in a chair that you know it’s got a back on it, he’s on the couch, and I say, ‘Deuce, I just have one question for you’.

This is the first time anything about football even came up. And I didn’t ask him about football because I was interested in football. Because I don’t care if I get somebody’s autograph, or if I go to a game. It doesn’t matter to me. So, I look over at him, and I said, ‘I just have one question for you, Deuce. Can I ask you that?’

And he said, ‘Yes’.

And I looked at him.


Steve leans forward in his chair, staring into Chris’ eyes.


‘Deuce, who is the best offensive lineman in the NFL?’


Silence, Steve waits for a long time.


‘Thanks for answering my question, Deuce, I appreciate it.’

And he says to me, ‘I didn’t answer your question’.

I said, ‘Oh no, you did. It was so loud, I could hear it in the whole office’.

He said, ‘I’m confused. What are you talking about? I didn’t answer your question’.

I said, ‘Deuce, it’s not hanging up here. It’s not hanging from one of these. It’s not in my walls. The answer is not over here. I’m just wondering if you could find any answer in here anywhere?’

He said, ‘You’re confusing me!’

I said, ‘Okay. So we’re gonna change this just a little bit, Deuce. We’re gonna do something different. So could you pretend that you’re the best offensive lineman in the NFL?’

And how he reacted at that time would be how a good-looking woman, or a very bright guy, or however you want to do it, you say something and they dodge it. You say to a guy, ‘Hey, you’re brighter than Einstein. Are you really intelligent?’ And they don’t feel intelligent, so they go, ‘Oh, not me’. And they dodge it.

Or you say to a good-looking gal, ‘Hey, you’re beautiful’. And she’s like, ‘Who, me?’

Well, when I say, ‘Could you pretend you’re the best offensive lineman in the NFL?’ he looked like he was dodging a defensive tackle. Like, ‘Are you talking to me?’

I said, ‘Can you pretend that?’ He couldn’t pretend. He couldn’t pretend it. I said, ‘We’re gonna have to change the game Deuce. Okay, Deuce, we’re gonna do this again’.

Now, you need to know I’m about three hours with him. About ten minutes to 1 pm coming up, I got a CEO from a billion-dollar company (in creation) that’s gonna be walking in. And I told Deuce we need to be done at a certain time. We’re getting close to the certain time.

So I said, ‘We’re gonna play a new game, Deuce’.

(Is everybody still in the room? Anybody going to sleep? Okay, any of those people that don’t want to hear a loud noise, or you know, ‘This guy looks like he’s the axe murderer’ or whatever, go to the exits quick.)

So I said: ‘We’re going to do a different game, Deuce. Here’s the game. We’re gonna play. I’m gonna pretend to be you, and I want you to pretend to be me. When you pretend to be me, all you need to do is you need to ask me, Deuce, who the best offensive lineman in the NFL is. And I’ll answer you.’

‘We’re gonna set this all up so you understand it, make sure you’re really clear about it, Deuce.’

And I’m not talking down to him, I’m wanting to make sure we’re clear about what’s going on. You know, a lot of people think I’m talking down to him. I’m just trying to communicate. You know, there’s nothing worse than not understanding what’s going on, have somebody go somewhere.

I said, ‘Who are you gonna pretend to be, and what are you gonna ask me?’

‘Who is the best offensive lineman in the NFL?’

‘Yes. And who am I gonna be?’


‘Yes. And what am I gonna believe?’

‘That you’re the best offensive lineman…’

‘That’s right. That’s the game we’re gonna play, Deuce. You’re gonna be me, and you’re going to ask who the best offensive lineman in the NFL is. I’m gonna be you, except I’m actually going to believe that I am the best offensive lineman in the NFL. Are you clear about that, Deuce? Good, we’re gonna go back five minutes. We’re gonna go back in history five minutes. We’re gonna sit down, and you’re going to ask me that question. I’m gonna be you. You clear what you’re gonna do? Okay, go ahead and ask me what I just asked you to.’

‘Deuce, who do you think is the best offensive lineman in the…’


Steve jumps out of his chair, grips Chris by the collar and shakes him violently.



Then I kick my office chair out of the way, and I said:

Listen, I am Deuce Lutui, and I am the best offensive lineman in the NFL. That’s who I am. Because if you could hear me, let me tell you what you could do. I don’t care who’s in the huddle: Bart Starr, Joe Namath, Blake Murdock, Max Hall, Kurt Warner, any of them. (And I know you’re not supposed to talk in the huddle. This Deuce Lutui would, inside.) It’s fourth and one. If we make this first down, we continue keeping the ball. Or, it’s fourth and one, we win the game. And I’m Deuce Lutui. And I am the best offensive lineman in the National Football League. So, when I go to the huddle, and they say, ‘It’s fourth and one’, and I know I’m still not supposed to talk, here’s what’s going on inside me. And I don’t care who the quarterback is. ‘Run a ride, 34 search right up my backside.’ That’s a play to the right, right over number 76.

I said, ‘Deuce we’re out of time. I’m done’.

So, he stands up.

I say, ‘Deuce we’re out of time’.

And he stands up reverently, as he is a reverent man, and he looks at me like, ‘What the hell was that?’

And he goes out, and he puts those feet in those shoes. And while I was in that office with him, as part of that conversation, I said, ‘If you ever got inside you who you could be, it would be what I call a personal internal commitment. And getting that inside you would operate everything you do’.

And I said, ‘Hey, Deuce, you know when I told you about that in the office, I’m gonna show you one of those as I exit you’.

And he says, ‘Show me one of what?’

And I said, ‘I’m gonna show you a personal internal commitment in action’.

He says, ‘What do you mean?’

I say, ‘I don’t care what time of day it is, when it is, what day of the week it is, when we go in my house, I can tell you what my wife will be doing’. I said, ‘She will either have earphones in, and she’ll be listening to a talk, she’ll be reading these scriptures that she loves, she’ll be writing. It’ll be something to do with her passion’.

And so I take Deuce Lutui into my home, I take him through my bedroom, I take him past my bed, I take him into my wife’s office. In there you got everything in the world out there she’s studying.

And I said, ‘Amy, this is Deuce Lutui. Deuce, this is my wife, Amy’.

Then I get about that far from his face. And I said, ‘See, what has her do everything is what she knows on the inside. If you ever got who you could be, your football world would look like this, except it would be football’.

‘Thanks Amy, let’s go, Deuce.’

And I walk him out, and I can tell you every step he takes his mind is expanding. He’s seen something he never saw before. And I can feel it, and I can sense it. I take him out to the front. I go to get him in this huge truck he drives. And his truck has a train horn. Literally from a train, [makes a horn sound] right, it’s like a train horn. There’s a huge truck, huge guy, and a train horn.

And we get to the edge of his truck, and he turns around and he says to me, ‘I want you to fly to St Louis on Sunday, to watch me play football. Then I want you to go to all my away games. Then I want you to come to all the home games. We can put you up with the team’.

I said, ‘Deuce, you can count on I-won’t-be-doing-that. I’m not interested in watching you play football. You don’t even know who you are. That would be a waste of my time’.

(Not as a human being, but what he’s wanting me to go for, I could go to a high school and see that.)

Then I said, ‘I’ll make you one deal, Deuce’.

And here’s the deal I’m gonna make with everyone in this audience. At the end of this, I’m gonna ask you the same kind of thing with yourself I asked Deuce to do. I said: ‘I want you to get in that big truck, Deuce. I want you to drive away somewhere, and sit quietly. I want you to sit in that big truck and think about what just happened for three and a half hours at my house. From the living room, the walk out there, the conversation, and everything. I want you to think about it. I want you to go inside and think about it. Then I want you to do this: I want you to go over to my website.’

(Now, this is the first time he actually knows kind of what I do, or who I am. I hand him a card and I circle it.)

I said: ‘Go to this website. But don’t go to that website and read it like it’s about me. Don’t read it about the people who wrote what they wrote about me. Read it like it’s you, and see what you could learn from what they said about their experience with me, but have it be about you.’

‘So if you go read it about me, you’re gonna miss it. If you read it about them, you’re gonna miss it. Go read it as if it’s about you. So here’s our deal: you go out in your truck, you go think, you go home, and do it when you can. Sauté in my website. Not surf it. If you get back with me, and you find out who you are, I’ll cut you this deal. I teach Sunday School on Sunday. I’ll have my wife substitute teach on that Sunday, and I’ll go to your first home game. And if you don’t want to do that, just keep driving in your truck. It was nice meeting ya.’

The next client that I have is a CEO of a company, and the literal next client, and he said, ‘Who was that big guy?’

And I tell him, and he says, ‘What happened?’ And I gave him the short version of it. And he says, ‘I’d be real interested if you ever hear back from him’.

Now here’s what I want to share with you. Before you open those envelopes, please when you open the envelopes don’t get lost in the content. I want you to pull out just one—let me finish instructing before you do—I want you to pull out one thing in there. And it will be a copy of the email that Deuce Lutui sent me that night.

So he was sautéing for 13 hours. And then he sent me an email that I submit to you will alter the way in which we in the world live. And I mean the entire world. So, I want you to go there and pull out a document. And it’s from Deuce to me. It’s a yellow document. Don’t look at any other stuff, don’t get caught with what’s there, just get that document. And hold it up so I know you’ve got it, hold it up high in the air. Now look around and see if somebody doesn’t have a document. Help them find it, or if you need a document, get one for someone. Now, put yours down, and if you don’t have one, put your arms up so we can get one to you.

I submit to you that these few words on this piece of paper will literally alter who Deuce will be forever. And if you get it for yourself, same with you, just in a different way.

So, I finished with two different clients. Monday night, I have dinner, and I go into my computer about 10:15 pm. And there’s this email from this Deuce Lutui that kind of roughed me up earlier in the day.

And as soon as I saw it, and I read it, the impact it had on me to know what would be possible working with this man was so great. I felt it everywhere you could feel it. Beyond my body, my mind, my spirit, my soul, and everything.

This is dated September 7th, 2010, at 9:50 pm and 50 seconds.

A few things I wrote down after our session and going on your website.

This has locked my future and has secured my goals

The best in the game!!!

The best OL in the NFL!!! best pro bowler there is!!!! Best at my craft!!!! Best on the team!!!!

Captain!!!!! PAID!!!!!!!!! I AM!!!!!!!!!!

The scary thing is this isn’t enough for me nor good enough

Love you brother

I want you to witness this at every game at every play please let me have you at every game you are able to make.

It will bless my life to know you’re behind me literally watching my every move!

Again, The best in the game!!! The best OL in the NFL!!! best pro bowler there is!!!! Best at my craft!!!! Best on the team!!!!

Captain!!!!! PAID!!!!!!!!! I AM!!!!!!!!!!

Ofa atu


Deuce Lutui

TBOLITNFL got born 9:50 and 50 seconds pm.

That man found who he was going to be as a football player. It has expanded to his personal life, to his marriage, to how he treats his kids, to how he lives, to how he looks, to how he does everything.

That’s a personal internal commitment that he made. When I read that on that screen, do you know what that means to do that? The first thing I did is I wrote him back.


The second thing I did is, I shared it with the CEO. When I sent it to the CEO (I’ve been working with the CEO since March), the CEO writes back and declares what he’s going to do. He’s working with an 18-million-dollar company. He writes back, ‘I am a God-serving man, a great father, and the CEO of a billion-dollar software company called Infusionsoft’.

Deuce Lutui inspired that CEO right out of his pants. I shared the Deuce Lutui story with everybody I could. Most of the time was about an hour, and everybody I shared it with had some kind of impact. It’s on the internet right now. Somebody read that with a soft heart, and understood the kind of commitment—you realise what kind of commitment he’s making? He’s making a commitment on the world stage!

Do you know other people can go read that? Other football players can go read that. This is like a serious commitment. I submit to you that what you’re holding in your hand, and if any of you have been on the website and again everything that’s happened…

When I went to that little restaurant, had that conversation, this man put up that sign, somebody else did the website, somebody else came up with that, the people that do the website they don’t even take money. You can’t pay them. They’re so inspired. But what the story is, it’s going a lot of places.

It’s called: ‘personal internal commitment’. Being connected with something you really want to do. Finding out what it is and actually committing to it.

I’m gonna read something by WH Murray. Most of you have probably heard this.

(Is everybody here? Good. This is about you. This is for you. I need nothing.)

‘The minute one definitely commits to oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one, that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, and meetings, and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come this way.’

Deuce Lutui sends that to me at 9:50 pm and 50 seconds. I share it with a man, it alters the world. I share it with another person, it alters the world.

There was a gentleman who had an agreement to call me and complete something about a common person we knew. He calls me at night, he tells me what he was calling about.

At the end I say to him, ‘I’ve had a miracle happen in my life. I would like to tell you about it’. He says, ‘I’ve got a few minutes now’. I said, ‘It may take an hour’.

He said, ‘I got an hour’.

So I tell him the Deuce Lutui story.

When one is committed, the world finds its way to the commitment. It’s like a black hole. Everything you need finds your way to the commitment. It is heavier than gravity. Try it.

So I began to speak to Will Keiper. And I’ve met him once in my life. And I say, ‘Will, let me tell you what happened’.

And I tell him what I just told you. And he says, ‘You are not going to believe this’.

And I said, ‘What?’

He said, ‘I’ll send you an email. I don’t even believe this’.

So, I get an email from him. This is the literal email from him. This is September 9th.

(When did I meet with Deuce Lutui? How long is that? This isn’t even 48 hours, and this is what commitment does.)

Steve—I just shared with my wife Pamala the ‘Deuce’ story… She told me that her husband, now deceased, went to Tonga in 2007 when [the Tongan king’s] planned coronation was announced and stayed at the palace with him (for 2 weeks!). My wife has known the King (then Crown Prince) for 20 years, visited him in Tonga, stayed at the palace, went to the Tonga Millennium celebration, and he visited her family in New York three or four times a year, for many years. She said that if we invited His Highness to our home for Thanksgiving, he might well come. If Deuce is interested, and you and your family might be interested, and there is (or isn’t) a game around that time*…it could make for a powerful connection for all…. I leave it to you brother… Ofa atu... Will

Let me tell you what: get seriously committed, you can bring the King to you. And I’m not joking.

Will Keiper lives in Paradise Valley, Arizona. And, if everything goes as planned, the king of Tonga will be there for Thanksgiving. And, what’s so crazy about it is when Deuce said, ‘Hey, I want you to go to every game’, I decided I’d go check out the schedule. Not that I’m gonna go to every game. I’m just curious who he’s playing. So, I knew that on November 29th, that he’s playing a Monday Night Football game. Nationally televised, in Phoenix, against the San Francisco 49ers.

So, I think, ‘Wow, this is interesting! Imagine this family that I know all of one hour is now inviting the king of Tonga to their home, and my family, and Deuce. This is pretty good stuff, isn’t it?’

So I say: ‘Wow, you know what, Will? What’s so interesting is we play at home that same week. We could have Thanksgiving dinner, we could have the king of Tonga to the Monday Night Football, and the king of Tonga could watch the best offensive lineman in the NFL.’

Two days old is this being spoken. Except Deuce has got it in him. So I can really go to action. When there’s a powerful commitment someone’s got, you can do a lot of stuff with it.

Listen: commitment rocks the world.

Notice those who are committed. What’s happening around them? Notice what Deuce Lutui created 54 days ago. He spoke that when he wrote it. Fifty-four days ago.

Twenty-one days ago, Julie called and asked if I’d come here. Look around you. That is what commitment does.

So, one of the pieces about the Deuce Lutui story—and here’s a little tidbit side liner for someone who goes, ‘Hey, what could I get from that guy who coaches companies’—get this one: You want to tell your story more frequently than you do. If you sell commercial real estate, tell a few more people than you’ve been telling. If you want to be in love with your wife, tell her a few more times how beautiful she is. Tell your story a little more frequently. I couldn’t find enough people to tell my story to.

My wife got rear-ended, so I’m taking her car over to get it estimated. I’m driving in my car, and I’m thinking, ‘Who else could benefit from the Deuce Lutui story?’ I want nothing. I’m not telling them something so I can get something. I’m telling them something because if they listen, they’ll get something. So, I think of this lady that I know that writes and I thought, ‘Man, if she knew this was happening, she could write about it’.

So, I call her up. I’m on the freeway, in a car that’s got the back end dinged in. I’m gonna go get an appraisal for my wife. And so I call her on the phone, she answers and I say her name, and I say, ‘I’ve had a miracle happen in my life. I want to share it with you’. She says, ‘What happened?’

I said, ‘Do you have a few minutes?’ She said, ‘Yeah’. I said, ‘Do you have an hour?’ I’m not afraid to spend a little time.

She said yes, so I pull off the freeway. In Arizona, you got to get under a tree because it’s hot, so I park under a tree.

(Hold on, let me tell you what happened at the hotel this morning. I said to the guy, ‘Hey, what’s it gonna be like today?’ He said, ‘Oh it’s gonna be real warm’. I said, ‘How warm?’ He says, ‘58F [14C]’. My wife drinks hot chocolate at 85F [29C]!)

So I pull underneath this tree, and I begin to tell this lady what’s happened, including this thing about the king of Tonga. So I’m getting about as far telling her this story as I did with Will Keiper.

And she says: ‘I can’t believe it. We were in a meeting the other day, we were talking about Deuce Lutui. Whether he could be the person who lights the ceremony of the temple lights at the Mesa temple. If you could ask him to do that, that would be just crazy.’

Now I’m gonna see him the next day. He decided to come and hang around me. So I’m gonna see him the next day. I said ‘I’ll ask him’.

So, the next day, I talk to him about the king coming from Tonga, and about him lighting all this stuff up.

Not only will the king of Tonga be there for Thanksgiving dinner, Monday Night Football, but he’s gonna go over and light these temple lights up. Which is a big deal where we live, that’s a big thing. It would be like lighting up the Salt Lake City temple lights.

And so, this is all gonna happen. It’s all done. This is happening. Fly down and see. Deuce Lutui’s slamming on the lights. I could go on, and on, and on, and on. And I’m not joking. I got a hundred and forty pages of things that have happened like that.

This is what happens with commitment. You want something to shift in your marriage? You want something to shift in what’s going on where you work? You want something to shift at school? Get committed. Get committed inside. Come up with something.

Lindsay Lohan is how he described himself. Deuce Lutui does not go to training camp. He’s the only Cardinal that didn’t go to training camp. Shows up 40 to 60 pounds [18 to 27 kg] overweight. When they interview him he says, ‘I’m the Lindsay Lohan of the Arizona Cardinals’.

Fast forward it. Go to Sunday’s paper, in the paper in print: Deuce Lutui is the best offensive lineman in the Cardinals. Mark my words, write them down, you got it on tape. He will be a Pro Bowler. He will sign a contract that will blow the world away. If he’s not the highest-paid lineman ever, I’ll be surprised.

He got who he wants to be. But it’s not limited to football. Talk to his wife, Pua. She got a new husband. Talk to his kids. Talk to people that know him. TBOLITNFL is not about football.

We joke I can already speak English and he’s tried to teach me a little Tongan. And I don’t even know that I still have it.

‘Ofa atu’ is ‘Loving you, love you’.

So, here’s what Deuce and I made up. That TBOLITNFL is Tongan for ‘personal inner commitment’.

It’s Tongan.

‘Ofa atu’, ‘TBOLITNFL’.

I love, personal inner commitment.

Like, made-up. Huh? Pretty good, huh?

Nothing, something.

Nothing, something.

How would you like to have nothing, then something?

Would you?

Because you can.

All you got to do is look in a little bit.

What’s over there, untapped?

What’s inside of you that you’re the Lindsay Lohan of whatever’s going on?

I told the story, and somebody said, ‘Well, what about Lindsay Lohan?’

I said, ‘I’m actually trying to get in contact with her, because if I could have a conversation, we’d have her life improved’.

So, I’m not against Lindsay Lohan. It’s Deuce that said he was the Lindsay Lohan. And maybe you’re Lindsay Lohan in an area of your life. Maybe you’re spectacular in another area. What would you like to give?

Is everybody still with me?

Is there anybody not here? If they answered, that’d be weird wouldn’t it?

Okay, so Deuce made a powerful commitment. You know how we sometimes make commitments and we kind of don’t tell anybody? Man, he shot this over to me. And I sent him copies of who I shot it to. And you know why I wanted to shoot more copies around? I wanted to commit the dude!

Failure to commit is the high cost of low living. Both ways. Failure to commit yourself, failure to commit someone else.

Who in this room has been committed by me to be here today?

Is Bill Burke in the room? Bill, just stand up for a second. I love this man dearly. And I don’t say I love somebody [lightly], I mean I love this man. Thanks, Bill.

I called Bill up on Thursday. And I want him to be here. And I don’t want him to be here for me. I’ve coached him. I’ve worked with him. Guess who I want him to be here for? For him! I want him to be here for him.

So I leave a message early in the morning. I’m still sleeping, and I wake up and I do a little voicemail and little text: ‘Call me as soon as you get this.’

And he calls me, and it’s about a quarter to seven, I think. And he’s like, ‘Hey, what’s up?’

And I say to him, ‘So, what are you doing on Saturday?’

And this guy’s doing stuff. It’s not like, ‘Oh, schedule’s open, where you want to go?’

So, he says, ‘Why?’

I said, ‘Because I’d like you to be in Salt Lake City at 2:30 pm to 4:30 pm’.

I’m not trying to be mean or bossy. But I’m promising you, wherever he would be not here, won’t do what this would do for him. So we have a 15-minute conversation. (If somebody was watching me from the other side, they’d say, ‘That Hardison guy doesn’t like that Bill Burke guy. Did you listen to what he just said to him?’)

I say, ‘Bill, here’s what I’d like you to do. I’d like you to get a plane, fly to Salt Lake City. I’m gonna be here at this time, make sure you get there at this time’.

And he says to me something like, ‘Well, maybe’ or ‘Okay’ or…

And it went like that for about 12 minutes. And then we get to a place where I said, and I can’t tell you all the words I said, because my wife’s in here.

I said: ‘What the hell do you mean, “Okay?” You’re either gonna be there, or you’re not. What is this, “Okay?” Listen, you’re powerful. If you want to be there, you can say you’ll be there, and you’ll be there.’


Steve points to Bill.


There be Bill. I can tell you, his world will alter from the commitment he came to be here. He will get something so powerful out of this. And then he brought other people with him. You make a commitment.

Failure to commit is the high cost of low living. Not committing yourself and not committing other people.

Here’s something I sent to Deuce. And like I say, if there’s anything here that’s not your religion, throw it out.

I love this. I sent this to Deuce. This is September 10 [2010]. And how long have I known Deuce? How many hours is that? I don’t even have all 72 of them yet.


Good morning.

I want you to know that you have inspired every one of my clients with whom I have coached or spoken since we met on Tuesday. They are blown away by your commitment and the email that you sent me that night [i.e. Deuce’s first email.] They are creating and living from your commitment TBOLITNFL. I know you have heard from a few of them. They all want you to know that you are inspiring!!!

Deuce, there is a powerful statement in 2 Corinthians 3:3 that offers an excellent instruction on what you can do with this powerful commitment you have made regarding TBOLITNFL.

The scripture reads: ‘Written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in the fleshy tables of the heart.’

You need to take your personal internal commitment that you have written in ink and sink it into the fleshy tables of your heart, into the fleshy tables of your huge and loving heart.

Now, the Deuce Lutui story has been shared around the globe. That doesn’t mean that you couldn’t share it.

In fact, what I would ask you to do, and I’m gonna say it now rather than the end of what I speak, in case some of you decide to bail out of here (and we have people here to tackle you actually… no!). I would ask you that when we’re complete that you go somewhere where you’re not in a rush. And if you’re busy tonight, get it tomorrow, but go somewhere where you’re not in a rush.

Sit within yourself and ask: ‘What is it I want to be committed to? What is it I could commit to?’

And look inside to see, and be quiet enough, long enough to see something. Then when you do—and I do not need you as a client, I have more clients than I can handle—I need you to see something in you.

Go to my website,, and read the experiences of people including Deuce Lutui.

But don’t read about me. Don’t read about Deuce. Read about you. Have a pad of paper. And you might be able to see something that you can see, that you could do in your life.

Write it down.

Come up with a personal internal commitment of your own. You don’t have to. You’re not bad if you don’t. You’re not good if you do.

If you don’t, you’re not as committed as you could be if you’re committed.

And I can tell you, someone committed to something gets more done than someone not committed. You follow the math? It’s pretty good math.

So now here’s something that came from London.

This is from a business owner in London. He read the Deuce Lutui story (and by the way I can’t redact my name from everything, because I’m in the middle of it. So if I’m reading it and some of you think, ‘Well he’s puffy’, leave me alone. I’m just trying to share with you!)

‘Hi Steve. You sir, are magic in motion. That document belongs deep in the fleshy tables of every heart. I have gone through it three times, made notes, and carry a small black notebook that has my own TBOLITNFL version in it. It would be surprising if everyone reading this document doesn’t alter or create a new personal internal commitment.’

How many of you have gone to TBOLITNFL and actually read this story? Okay, so here’s what I’m asking the rest of you to do. And you don’t have to. I’m just wanting to commit you to do it! Go home, go to and read the Deuce Lutui story. Don’t skim it, read it. And have it answer for you: ‘What is it I need to commit to?’

And if at the end you don’t need to commit to anything, then don’t.

But you might be surprised what happens.

[The email continues]: ‘Because if they do, it will set the world on fire.

‘Go you.

‘Go Deuce.

‘Go all who get it.

‘Your friend.

‘P.S. Steve, what was the conversation you had with Deuce in those three to four hours, where he then came back and created this powerful commitment?’

See, he doesn’t know. I am the luckiest man in the world. So, what I’m going to ask you to do is: go read that. Sit with yourself. If you don’t want to go to my website, don’t.

I say it would assist you. Then write something down. And how about: can you see the generosity of all the people that have served? There have been people that Julie called up and said, ‘We need help here’, and they sent five thousand dollars, they sent three thousand dollars, they did this, they did this, they did this. Can you see the generosity in that? You have stuff in your little envelopes that clients I’ve worked with have given to you. They paid for them, so you can have some stuff in those envelopes. And if you listen to them, and read them, it will be really useful to you.

Here’s what I ask you to do. Not in return for it, I just ask you to do it. After you read TBOLITNFL, and if it touches you anywhere, be a little less stingy.

Think: ‘Who do I know in Canada? Who do I know in Ireland? Oh, I remember I was in the service in Yugoslavia. Who could I send this to?’

And don’t be stingy. Send it to different countries. Send it to different states. Send it everywhere. Because I promise you, if people read it, it will alter literally the world.

Look what’s happened in 54 days. I could read—I’m not kidding you, you can come up and look at these—I’ve got CEOs, I’ve got letters from housewives, I’ve got letters from all over. ‘I’ve read this story; here’s what I’m doing.’

Do you know what happens when the water rises? All the boats go up.

Let’s pick the water up just a notch.

So my request, especially some of you that lived in the Polynesian islands, somebody’s from Hawaii, somebody’s from Tonga, send it out there. Somebody knows somebody in Cape Canaveral, send it there. If you’ve been on a mission to Argentina, send it there. If you got buddies somewhere else, send it there.

You know how long it takes you to read a story, press a few buttons, lift someone’s world? There’s some people that have read that story, and I’ll just speak it to you rather than read it. There was a guy that came to that King’s Fish House restaurant, he was gonna quit where he worked. He was going to quit. He heard what we talked about, and he wrote a letter to his CEO and to me. And a commitment to his wife of what kind of husband he’d be. What kind of leader he’d be. What kind of results he would produce. Based on hearing that story.

So those are some of my requests. Read TBOLITNFL. Sit with yourself. Share it with somebody. Somebody, someplace on the planet. And I’m asking you to get creative. If you know somebody in all 50 states, send it to all 50 of them.

If you know somebody in a different country, if you’ve got a strange… look, they don’t have roads some places, and they have internet. Do you hear me? This room in Salt Lake City, on this date, could actually raise the water level for the planet.

By simply sharing a little bit.

This is a gentleman named Michael Neill. He has graciously—you’ve got some stickers in those little bags of yours or packages—he paid four or five dollars a piece to give every one of you those.

Here’s what it says: TBOLITNFL. It’s a decal.

(I drive a really nice car. There’s only one thing I really own that’s nice, it’s a nice car. I like to have a clean car. And you know, if I lived in Utah I’d buy it at Murdock Chevrolet. Blake and I went to high school together. I honour and love him. He is one of the greatest leaders I ever met. My wife’s last name is Blake. And I named my son Blake. But I got to do it for two reasons, and he’s one of them.)

So if you’re not going to put this on your car, don’t take it. Give it to somebody else, because somebody will say, ‘What is TBOLITNFL?’

I’m down at a gas station in Arizona. I’ve got this on the back of my Lexus, and a guy pulls up in an M5 BMW, souped-up thing. He says, ‘What’s that?’ And I say, ‘That’s TBOLITNFL’.

‘I see that. What is it?’

And so I engage in a conversation. I shared with him about Deuce.

I say what’s going on, I say, ‘Go read this website’.

I don’t know the guy 120 seconds. He drives out in his $130,000 car, this [decal] is on his back window.

You know why I wanted to get that to him? Guess how many people are gonna ask him what this is? Just how much water goes up?

Guess what happens when the water goes up, folks? Guess whose boat goes up? Everybody’s boat.

For those of you who drive a big vehicle, Hummer owners, Escalades, I’m gonna give you an actual Deuce Lutui-size TBOLITNFL.


Steve pulls out a giant TBOLITNFL decal.


You need to know this thing reflects. I mean, people are gonna honk at you. Now picture this, we’ve got five or six hundred people here.

The real important person we’ve got here is you. So just to whoever I’m talking to in the seat.

Imagine if everybody put these on their car. My kids said to me, ‘Dad, I’ve never seen you put a decal on your car, my whole life’. I said, ‘There’s never been a decal that meant so much as what this decal means to me’.

This means so much to me. This means personal inner commitment. This means a man is playing on the hugest stage in the world in athletics saying: this is who he’s going to be.

He declared to be the captain. And guess what? He’s a right guard. Guess who the captain of the team is? The centre. Do you get this? You can live from being a captain inside you.

I’ve got one here that’s a lady who says: ‘I’m gonna be the best mother in the world.’ That’s not a challenge to the rest of you. What happened if every mother in here decided to be the best mother in the world?

Do you know how many—I coach for a living—do you know how many coaches I’ve gotten that wrote me things saying, ‘I’m gonna be the best coach in the world’?

I say: ‘Hallelujah!’ Let’s have a hundred, two hundred, four hundred!

So, Michael Neill paid for all those decals, for you. Please don’t throw it away. Put it somewhere. Give it to somebody who’ll put it somewhere.

There are four or five people that blog around the world, and they’ve all picked up TBOLITNFL, and I’m gonna read you directly from Michael Neill’s blog.

(Is everybody still here? Does anyone want to go home? Because if you really do, you ought to get up and go, because I’m gonna get serious now. Go for the exits, baby.)

This is from Michael Neill.

‘Those of you who know me personally know that I am an avid sports fan, and more specifically a lifelong supporter of an American football franchise known for the past 40 years or so as the New England Patriots. Which is why it might come as a surprise to you later this afternoon when I watched the Arizona Cardinals game with my eyes glued to the screen, and even more surprising if you notice that I will not so much be watching the game as the exploits of player number 76, a right guard named Deuce Lutui.

‘Deuce’s declaration of himself as the best offensive lineman in the NFL—TBOLITNFL…’

(Who knows what that means in Tongan? Personal internal commitment, that’s right. That’s what it means in Tongan.)

‘…is neither arrogance nor self-promotion. It is a statement of commitment and intent. A commitment to who he wants to be in the world, and the intention and willingness to take action to make it so.

‘Over the first four games of the season, Deuce has been ranked the top offensive lineman three times, and despite the struggles of his team, has come to national attention for the way he’s been playing.’

Why is he playing like he’s playing? The commitment; he’s coming from being the best! [Deuce] calls me, he says, ‘Steve’,—he calls me coach, which is cool, I mean it’s a different kind of coach, I mean it’s like it’s so endearing the way he says ‘Hey coach’, it’s just like naw, it’s so good—he says ‘Coach’, he says, ‘the grass doesn’t look the same’.

And he lines up against a guy, and this guy had been kind of hassling for a while across from each other, except now Deuce is coming across as the best offensive lineman in the NFL. And Deuce calls me up and said, ‘I lined up against player X, and I looked up at him’. So I picture Deuce in a three-point stance, and he looks up at this guy, and he said, ‘You are so lucky that we are on the same team. Because if you weren’t, I would blitz and cream you so bad, you wouldn’t know what hit you’.

He gets in a fistfight with the other guy. I said, ‘Atta boy, let’s go!’

Because who he is, is the best offensive lineman in the NFL.

Who he was was Lindsay Lohan earlier.

Which guy do you think blocks the best? 76 being Lindsay Lohan, or 76 being the best offensive lineman? You tell me.

Which father is the best? The one committed to his wife, or the one that doesn’t even know? ‘This looks good to me, that looks good to me.’ Or one that’s just committed to who he’s with?

You answer it. The math is really easy. The math is simple.

So Michael Neill goes on to say: ‘His secret, not in the sense that he won’t tell, but in the sense that people can’t see it until they experience it.’

(Who do you think I would like to experience what he’s talking about? You! Look in your chair, just look down, there you are, you’re sitting in it. That’s who.)

‘To experience this is perhaps best summed up in the famous words of author Marianne Williamson.’

(Listen to this. And if you’ve heard it before, listen to it like you’ve never heard it before. Because the plane is going down folks. If you don’t get committed.)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.

We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.

(This is not about Deuce Lutui, this is not about Steve Hardison. This is about the body sitting in your chair, on your butt.)

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

‘Through a series of unseen incidents and meetings Deuce Lutui will be sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner this year with a very special guest. The king of Tonga himself.

‘A few days later, the king will be honoured guest at the Monday Night Football game between the Cardinals and the 49ers. Deuce will also be turning the temple lights on in Mesa Arizona.

‘Better still, the Deuce Lutui story is still being written, day by day, in the way he lives. His life and how he honours his commitment. And if you haven’t realised it yet, this tip is nothing to do with a man named Deuce Lutui. It’s all about you. Who are you really? Who would you be willing to declare yourself to be, if you weren’t worried that your claiming your birthright might be disrespectful to your king, your family, or your God?

‘What if the ultimate way to respect those who help make you who you are is to actually be who you are?’

‘What if the ultimate way to respect those who help make you who you are was to actually be who you are. Not just the human, but the being. Not just the life, but the energy and intelligence behind it.

‘To quote Marianne Williamson, “God heard us. He sent help. He sent you”.’

This is a blog. I could read you three or four blogs like that. Some going to 2,200 people, some going to 17,000 people. And then getting responses back.

You remember I told you I called Vai Sikahema?

Here’s from Vai: ‘Steve, amazing! Deuce is one of my favourite people in the world. I love him like a younger brother. He has a soft and good heart. Since he was a little boy, he always wanted to do good, and be good. He was a little boy when I was already at BYU, but I would see him and his siblings with their parents whenever I returned home. My parents were close to his parents. I remember my mother calling me and waking me up in my apartment in Provo, crying with the news of their accidents. It was a life-changing moment in their lives.’

‘Quick story.’ (This is Vai Sikahema.) ‘Deuce came two years ago to watch me in a preliminary exhibition fight before Canseco.’

(Did you know that Vai Sikahema fought Josue Canseco, and took him out in the first round? Tough cookie.)

‘He took the time to go to the Cardinals, and ask for my old Jersey which he brought as a gift.’

(Who thinks to do that?)

‘I was moved and touched by the gesture. I have money and connections to do that myself, yet he did it, he did it knowing that probably wasn’t something I’d go out of my way to do. That’s why I love the man.

‘And there’s so much more than that. He will be TBOLITNFL. I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe when you called me asking to put you in touch with Deuce, because you wanted me to introduce you to Matt Leinart, I had actually considered after I sent you Deuce’s number whether it wasn’t Deuce that could really benefit from your coaching.’

Where are our physicists? Who knows what a black hole is? You’ve heard of a black hole. Number 76 of the Arizona Cardinals has made a commitment that is so profound it’s like a black hole.

His commitment is actually what has you sitting here and you don’t even really know it. That’s what started it.

I often talk about a thing I call: one action. One action.

What’s the one action? If Deuce Lutui does not go home, and think, and write what he just wrote, none of this occurs. You would not be sitting there right now.

He does not get on his computer, and write what he wrote, and declare TBOLITNFL, you would not be sitting there right now.

Get that. One action.

If, when I got his email, I don’t communicate back with him and say to him, ‘Powerful, like you Deuce. So let it be written, so let it be done’. And I just leave it in my computer, who knows what would happen?

If I don’t tell Will Keiper the story, do you think Will is accidentally just gonna come over to my house one day? I’ve seen him one hour in three months, and he’s gonna walk up to me and say, ‘Hey, Steve, just thought you might want to know: my wife when she was married before me, is good friends with the king of Tonga!’

Do you think that’s gonna happen? Not in a million years. One action. I do not call Bill Burke, he’s not sitting in that chair. I do not call Blake Murdock, he may not be sitting in that chair.

One action.

One action.

One action.

Commitment creates a series of actions that are not generated if there’s no commitment.

TBOLITNFL is all about commitment. You cannot see a more powerful example than what this man has done.

If you go on the website, you will see things. When you go on this website, please click on to the Facebook page. Go over and become a member of Deuce Lutui’s team. TBOLITNFL. There is a thing at the top called: personal internal commitment. And you can read them from around the world.

If you decide to get one, post it. Share with us what you’ve decided to do. You’ll be moved to go read them. I brought them with me, I could read them, they’re unbelievable, from all around.

I want to tell you how Deuce Lutui’s impacted my own family.

He doesn’t take that one action, none of these other things happen the way they did. They may happen some other way, some other time.

This is September 27th [2010]. How long have I known Deuce Lutui? Not even three weeks.

‘Dear Deuce, it is almost 1 am, and I’m just finishing up watching the game. I taped it and watched every single play at least twice. I can hardly wait till Tuesday to be together and discuss the game, and the extraordinary way you played it.

‘There are multiple plays where you took out two guys. There’s one play that you pancake the defender, which allowed us to get a 24-yard pass completion. There are so many brilliant plays, I want to share with you what I saw.

‘There are only two plays in the entire game where you got less than an A+. You are TBOLITNFL.

‘After the game, my family gathered together to discuss my experience. It is amazing how all of my children have been impacted by your—’ what we call his ‘I am’, because ‘I am the best offensive lineman in the NFL’. His ‘I am’.

You see this little thing that I did up here with Chris, after I kick the chair away, I picked the chair and I brought it back. And I said to Deuce, ‘Deuce, you don’t have to be all lit up, like I was just then. We’re gonna do it again. You be me, and you ask me again’.


Steve invites Chris on stage to take a seat again.


‘You ask me again, and we’re gonna show you another way. We’re gonna show you another way that this could happen. I only use that way to wake you up. I think you’re waking up, so I’m gonna be you. You be me, and you ask that question again: who’s the best offensive lineman in the NFL, and I’ll answer it.

‘I’m gonna be Deuce, and you’re Steve.’

‘Deuce, who is the best offensive lineman in the NFL?’

‘I am.’

I am.

I am.

I am creates.

I am.

I am.

I am.

I am the best father.

I am the best son.

I am the best employee.

This isn’t arrogance, this is declaration.

I am a great friend.

I am honourable.

I am faithful.

I am trustworthy.

These are declarations.

I am.

Deuce sent me a big picture of himself before a game. Guess what it said under his picture?

‘I am.’

It said, ‘I am’.

And he knows what that means.


‘After the game, my family gather to discuss my experience. It is amazing how all of my children have been impacted by your “I am”, just like all of my clients.’

I could line up every client that I have, and have them come up here and speak to you about what altered in their business, based on seeing what happened to Deuce Lutui. I could bring every one of my children up here.

‘Lindsey is my 29-year-old daughter, who has twin three-year-olds. She asked that I send this to you. This is her personal TBOLITNFL.’

And she sent Deuce a very personal two-page of who she is. Probably one of the most valuable things that anyone’s ever done in my life for me, is to impact my daughter.

His story and who he is as a human being has impacted me in every way.

The one action that he took has you sitting here.

What one action could you take?

What commitment could you take?

What several actions could you take?

Do you know why Deuce takes so many actions now that he didn’t before?

He’s committed to something.

I mean, what are you committed to?

I’m not questioning you, I’m not doubting you.

But, what are you really committed to?

I mean really committed to?

What are you really committed to?

I could pass out 100 of these, I’m gonna just share a couple with you.

‘Steve, my dad forwarded me the email you sent him about Deuce Lutui. We had a staff meeting. They read the Deuce Lutui story. And we committed TBDOIA: the best dental office in Arizona. I’ve personally committed to being TBDIAC.’

Now, you don’t have to have an acronym. But that’s what he’s done. Let me tell you, I want to go to the best dental office in Arizona, myself. How about you?

This is a true story. I go in to a dentist that I knew for a long time, I said, ‘I want to get my teeth redone’ … I had these really gnarly-looking teeth. I looked like a pumpkin! So I sat with my dentist, the one I currently have, and I say, ‘Hey, you know, I’d like to get my teeth done. Can you do them?’

He says, ‘I can do them pretty good’.

I said, ‘Pretty good? I don’t want my teeth done pretty good’.

So I say it to him again—I’ve known him for 20 years, 25 years—‘I’d like to have my teeth done. Can you do my teeth?’

He says, ‘Pretty good’.

He’s not my dentist anymore. I went to a guy who looked at me straight in the eye and said: ‘You sit in my chair, I will take care of your teeth. It’ll be the best thing that you ever had done.’

How many folks do you think I put in his chair? And you know what? There can be more than one best dentist. I would just want to be going to one of those guys.

‘My mom declared: the best mom in the United States.’

How about one commitment we make today? And I don’t care, maybe you gave us $10,000 here, I’m still talking to you. Quit being so stingy. Imagine if this is coming because I pushed a button and sent it to somebody, what you could do with people that are close in your world!

‘Thank you for sending this to me, I’m inspired by Deuce’s commitment, and it does the same thing for me that it appears to have done for the others that have read it.’

Reading a story!

‘Makes me want to be my best. It makes me want to play bigger in every area of my life. To man up and take the challenge of me. As I read through this, I must tell you that I’ve never been surprised but always amazed at the impact you have on other people. You are a gift to us all. I will watch in great expectation, and cheer on number 76 this year, with a love I have for the greatness in human beings when they’re being all they can be. Thank you for all you’ve done in my life to bring out the greatness of me.’

Now, I’ve had CEOs that tell me they watch that game as if they were Deuce Lutui playing the game, and they get something. How to be a better CEO. Have you ever watched a football game watching a guard? You don’t even know they exist. I watched his game, I watched his play three times.

That man is the best offensive lineman in the NFL. It has been created. I invite you (DVR it if you don’t watch football on Sundays) to watch him play tomorrow against Tampa Bay. He knows that today I’m speaking here, and that tomorrow (or on DVR) he will have a set of eyes that have never watched him.

He said, ‘Please tell that audience that they will see the best offensive lineman in the NFL.’

Can you hear that commitment?

Can you hear that, Utah?

Can you get that?

Turn it on and watch him, number 76, the right guard.

He’s why you’re sitting here.

You don’t even know him.

One action.

One action.

One action.

One action.

One action.

What is the commitment that you are?

Who’s sitting in the chair?

Listen to these ‘I am’ statements.

Listen to them.

This is a lady who’s written four national bestsellers, happens to be a client of mine. And I can’t write a whole sentence. This is Iyanla Vanzant. This is after she read the Deuce Lutui story. She put a beautiful picture, it’s just gorgeous.

I am Iyanla.

A god-loving, wise woman.

Humble, spiritual teacher.

International best-selling writer and compassionate coach.

The best in my craft.

Who I am and the work I do touches the souls and the lives of many people of God’s grace and favour.

As people and their lives are changed, the world is transformed.

One mind, one heart, one life, one spirit at a time.

I am on purpose.

This is from Jeff. When you get committed, you do really strange stuff.

So, when Deuce committed to be TBOLITNFL, I actually made a flag. The first flag that ever had those words on it. It was the next day, I sent back to Deuce, ‘You’re powerful, so let it be written, so let it be done’.

Then I bought 28 of those jerseys. I hadn’t even told 28 people about it. But I bought 28 of them.

Then the next thing I did… I made a flag that looked like this.


Steve unveils huge red flag with white letters: TBOLITNFL.


And I went to the first game like I promised Deuce. And I held the flag up myself. It was the only one in existence.

I had people call me every name in the book. I had a guy say to me, ‘You’re a dumb mf’er’, he said, ‘Did your mommy make that for you? That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. What is that supposed to mean?’

Let me make you a promise right here folks.

I’m not against this guy. I sent him a book. I tried to help him. I tried to be kind to him. I’ve never put it in his face. My writing to him to tell him why I had this is the first thing on the website.

It’s out of chronological order, but it was me trying to explain to him what this means. Now watch. He said, and this is what happens when we’re committed, people try to take it away so it can’t happen. He said that’s the dumbest thing he’s ever seen.

And you need to know my heart was in this thing I had. What made the letters was athletic tape. I cut it with athletic tape, and then ironed it on.

He should have said my mom was wearing combat boots or something when he said that was a goofy sign. So listen: do you see this right here? This is Tongan. TBOLITNFL. Personal inner commitment.

I’m asking you to send this around the world. I’m asking you to send this around the world.

You don’t have to do it overnight. Do a little bit every day.

Watch what happens, that people you send it to read it, will write you stuff like I get every day.

So, a flag like this, the original flag, was up on Gilbert Road. I held it over the stadium and got mocked. Then I put it up on Gilbert Road, and people wondered what it was.

But a young man that’s in the audience goes by and he sees it. So he goes over and googles it. And he reads the story. He reads the story.

He’s 23 years of age. He reads the story. He sent me two or three or four different emails. Remember I’m talking a little bit about ‘I am’? I am TBOLITNFL.

So, one day I’m thinking Deuce came by, because I look out on my front porch and this [package] is on my front porch. This says ‘I am’ [on the front]. And it’s in this little [box]. Now every client I work with, when I’m working with them, we fly their flag.

So when I’m with Deuce Lutui, that flag’s in the backyard [points to Tongan flag], and that flag’s in the front yard [points to TBOLITNFL flag]. That literal flag flies in the backyard, that literal flag flies in the front yard.

With every client I work with, we either create a flag, it says what we’re doing, we have a committed place where we’re doing something.

So I go by my front door, and I’m looking out the doors like this, and it’s laying on the ground, and I’m thinking, ‘I’m really getting to like Deuce, you know. He shows up on time, we get things done. Now he’s sending me little gifts’.

I go out there, and I open this up. It says ‘I am’. So, I open it up, and there’s a flag in it.

It’s the flag of New Zealand. And there’s a note in it written by a 23-year-old young man. ‘This is my TBOLITNFL. To work with you, I have to be someone powerful and courageous. I will call you at 7 pm on October 16th [2010], to set up an appointment for our first session.’

With a cheque to pay me in full, with this flag in that box. Go to my website, see what I charge. You’ll see how magnificent that young man is.

How about if we make a commitment today together?

Be a little less stingy.

How about if we tell a few people where we were today?

How about if we have a company? I’ve got a client named Clate Mask. First thing he did is he went and bought some of these jerseys, held a company meeting, and shared what he’d learned. And committed what he was going to be as a CEO. He has 130 employees, and asked every one of them to go away, come back in a week, and what will your TBOLITNFL be regarding Infusionsoft?


Unbelievable experiences in that company.

Can you hear me? And I don’t mean about my volume.

Can you hear what I’m saying?

This isn’t anybody special. These are us.

In fact, I often say to someone: the only difference between me and anyone else is my level of commitment.

You know, give me some mathematical problems. I don’t know if I can do fractions right here. I can barely do my ‘droid.

If I have my keys to my car, because you know now they just push the button, I used to lose the keys. I’m as non-technical as anything.

But what I have is an extraordinary amount of commitment for myself, and commitment for people who are committed.

This is a flag made by another man who sent money and things to help.


Steve unfolds small red flag with white letters: TBOLITNFL.


Also happens to be a client of mine. His name is Steven McGhee.

These are not advertisements. They don’t need advertising.

These are powerful people who are playing up.

But Steven McGhee is taking six CEOs that are paying him $50,000 each to hike the highest peak in Argentina. And if I could say it correctly I would: Aconcagua. Yeah, that’s it. And they are going to go, and this [TBOLITNFL flag] is the literal flag that will be posted on the highest mountain outside of Asia. This literal thing right here. This is the one going. Do you remember I was standing in that stand? Remember the guy was telling me how dumb this word is?

This is on the tallest mountain outside of Asia.

If I cut Deuce Lutui open right now, and there was blood that flowed out of him, do you know what would be on the white and red corpuscles?


You’d see it floating.

Can you hear me?

This level of commitment.

So, I acknowledge Jeff Dinsdale. Our first coaching session is when? Wednesday at 2 pm. Twenty-three-year-old Jeff Dinsdale. You know what he says to me?

‘I want this to be the best coaching you’ve ever done in your life!’

And you know what? It will be.

You know why? Because what he’s bringing into my room is a massive commitment. A massive commitment. Unbelievable commitment. Here’s another one. I’m not kidding you, I have 300 of these. How about if you share a little bit, and somebody will tell you what they’re gonna do? Wouldn’t that be inspiring to you? What happens when the water goes up? How many boats go up? All of them go up! Every boat goes up when the water goes up.

‘Dear Steve, here’s my version of TBOLITNFL. I am a Catholic Christian, committed to living my faith. Always improving myself, and always grateful for the life I have. I am committed to being the best:












that I can be. I am committed to being present and fully engaged where I am, and when I am. I am committed to giving my best at home, at work, and working with others to inspire them to give the best as well. I’m committed to delivering what I promised. I’m committed to creating a wide-open space in the future that I can live into with great possibilities for me, my family, and others. I am committed to getting to know how I can improve any aspect of my life in an effort to discover how I can best serve the world. I am a lifelong Redskins fan who will now be watching closely the Arizona Cardinals’ offensive lineman wearing number 76.’

What think ye?

What do you think?

What do you think?

Is that pretty good?

Yeah. No different than you and me. Nobody here I’m reading from has anything on us.



This is a gentleman who’s also shared of his wealth, so we could all have the things that we have.

‘Dear Deuce, inspired by your experience with Steve, I reflected myself on who am I at 3:30 am this morning.’ This guy reads a story! ‘I asked God to show me who I am, and he did.

‘I am nothing, and I am heart.

‘That’s all I am. Nothing more, and nothing less.

‘Anything more than that is only what I create myself to be through my declarations and actions.

‘From my nothingness, I can be anything I choose.

‘I choose to be an extremely effective, highly successful commercial real estate and business adviser.

‘I choose to be a great father and husband.

‘I choose to be a great friend, brother and son.

‘I choose to be a great leader in the community, serving people that I need to help. Thanks for whatever courage and humility it took for you to reach out to Steve for help.

‘My life is better by knowing you with all my heart.’

This is just some guy who hears a story. This is the third generation. Somebody told somebody, and somebody told it to somebody. And then he writes back and sends me a copy.

I AM The Man my wife counts on to take care of her and her children.

(Hey women, you want one of those? That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?)

I AM The Man a business partner can absolutely count on to get the job done. I AM The Man who is no longer afraid but is fearless to declare and act for the life I am committed to my family and me. I Am The Man who does.

[From Dusan Djukich:] ‘You guys are shifting the world one person, and one creation at a time. I love the unfolding. It’s a Deuce Lutui movement. Love beyond compare.’

I ask you to look for a personal internal commitment, and for your own ‘I am’. For your own TBOLITNFL.

I think I’m going to close. We’ll find out. I’d like to finish with two documents. And again, I mean, I have hundreds, literally. This is from the president of the University of Santa Monica, after he read the Deuce Lutui story.

‘Mary and I loved reading Amy’s rendition of what we could call the Deuce Lutui effect.’

(See, they have Master and PhD programs, they’re teaching leadership. Around the planet.)

‘As you know our playing field is the Master degree program in spiritual psychology, and the soul-centred leadership PhD program at the University of Santa Monica. And as a USM grad yourself, you have seen this effect many times as students step more fully into the aliveness that comes with emerging into their calling. Or as we would say, move more fully into the spirit of who they truly are.

‘The really good news about this is that when others read about this effect, it hits a nerve within them, and they are profoundly moved. What a blessing for all of us. Ron Hulnick, President, University of Santa Monica.’

It might be fitting to close on this, but of course I could change my mind, I don’t know, it just feels right.

This is from Pua Lutui. Deuce’s wife.

Good morning, Steve. I thought that TBOLITNFL was strictly football, and nothing more. I could not see past the NFL part. But as the days progressed Tusi—

(That’s his real name, Tusi)

—started to change the way he talked, and literally the way he walked. Each and every one of us puts out a vibe, whether it is happy, sad, positive, depressed, etc. Tusi’s aura was amazing. I was completely drawn to him by his positivity.

Then I started to question: what happened in that first session? Steve, coming to that luncheon when you passionately told the Deuce Lutui story opened my eyes to what is actually happening. I couldn’t believe how many people were there to hear this story. I couldn’t believe how fast TBOLITNFL is affecting others for greatness. I couldn’t believe there were people outside of this country supporting my husband’s internal commitment. And the major thing that was hard for me to believe was the king of Tonga. Really? Who would have thought that, right? Who would have imagined the possibilities?

When my husband declared his commitment to TBOLITNFL, he didn’t realize that this would be a domino effect. He didn’t realize that it would inspire others as it inspires him. Reading the blogs and the websites and the emails one after another, I was shocked and left in awe.

(Everything I’ve read, plus 200, I would send to them [the Lutui family]. Imagine being TBOLITNFL, and you’ve got to read these every day coming from around the world. You think that would support your commitment?)

Reading the blogs and the websites and emails one after another, I was shocked and left in awe. And seeing the picture from Scotland topped it all off. This is real. This isn’t a dream. This is happening. Words cannot express how appreciative I am for all of those that support TBOLITNFL.

I even appreciate all those that took the time to read the letters, TBOLITNFL.

(Do you know who Pua is saying ‘Thank you’ to, right now? You. You! She—Pua Lutui—is saying, ‘Thank you. Thank you for supporting my husband’s commitment. It is amazing who I have as a husband. Thank you, thank you, thank you’.)

Steve your mind moves 100 miles per hour, from flags, to a website, to passing out pieces of paper.

(My daughter Lindsey and I had that red flag. There’s only one in all of the stadium. And I put on little pieces of paper: TBOLITNFL. And I said, ‘We’re gonna go stand by the men’s restroom honey. You’ll hold this end of the flag, I’ll hold that end. When somebody looks at all interested, you’ll walk up and hand them this. And you ask them to go google it.)

How grateful I am that you picked up that paper, and read about Matt Leinart. How grateful I am that you had the compassion and the heart to reach out to Matt, and through your lovingness, you found my husband. My husband is my life, my heart, and my everything. Therefore, all that you do for him, you are doing for me.

I love you Steve, from the bottom of my heart, and written with tears of appreciation.

Ofa atu.

Pua Lutui.

I request that you go home and read this story about Deuce Lutui. That you sit quietly, and find out what you want to be committed to.

That you send it around the world. You send it to other countries, other cities, other states. You send it to your family. I promise if you do, you will benefit someone’s life. I close by saying two things.


Be blessed.

Be committed.


Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

* * *

TBOLITNFL Epilogue by William Keiper

With his vastly improved performance during the 2010 season behind him, Deuce made the decision to move from the Cardinals to the Cincinnati Bengals. For his transformational improvements in 2010 he was rewarded with the opportunity for a new two-year, eight-million-dollar contract, starting with the 2011 season. His new deal included five million dollars for the 2011–2012 season alone. He had made this happen in less than a year, and it wasn’t about the Cardinals or the other NFL offensive linemen in the league. It was solely about Deuce and his commitment to being the best he could be.

By all indications, Deuce had changed his life and his future in a single powerful moment. He saw and declared his potential. He made a personal commitment to access the part of him that he believed was already the best offensive lineman in the NFL. He was then able to harness his immense physical talent and athletic skill and match it with the kind of mindset and commitment that would enable him to utilise it to his fullest.

It didn’t take years of therapy, or the unpleasant reality of the nomadic life of a journeyman NFL player, enduring trade after trade after trade until nobody calls. He took control of his life and seized the opportunity to make it different. He began living on and off the field as the person he declared himself to be. Everything changed in a single moment with his recognition of the opportunity before him and his commitment to make the most of his unique gifts.

Deuce’s trade from the Cardinals to the Bengals (and his lucrative new contract) was conditioned upon him passing the Bengals’ physical exam. Among other things, the exam included stepping on a scale to check his weight. In another single, powerful moment, Deuce’s world changed again. The scale declared he was carrying 381 pounds [173kg]; he should have been thirty or forty pounds lighter.

The Bengals said, ‘No, thank you Deuce’, and less than 24 hours after he left for the promised land of his new contract and team, Deuce was on a plane back to Phoenix.

The next day he signed a modest, one-year contract with the Cardinals, which was accompanied by an admonition from the Cardinals’ coaching staff that he needed to immediately and seriously focus on getting some weight off. Deuce’s lapse in his TBOLITNFL commitment cost him millions of dollars. Some estimated that he left more than six million dollars over two years on the Bengals’ table. If this was the case, it represented about $200,000 per excess pound he carried onto that scale in the Bengals locker room.

In football terms his descent was complete when, throughout the next season, still overweight, he was relegated to a back-up position on the Cardinals’ team. For the first time in his career he found himself watching from the sidelines as a back-up to someone else—after 72 games as the starting right guard at the highest level of professional competition.

Significant change requires clarity of thinking, a realistic inventory of your personal resources, and the ability to engage in purposeful choices and actions.

Equally important is our willingness to make a consistent, daily commitment to action in pursuit of our goals. Deuce discovered this (and paid a hefty price) by virtue of the natural consequences that flowed from not living a daily commitment to his off-season fitness.

The highest value in the creation of any new Story of You is what you choose to be and do when the going gets tough. In Deuce’s case, because of the trip he took from Phoenix to Cincinnati and back he received an even bigger opportunity to change his life again, to become an even more powerful example to the TBOLITNFL Nation that rose up to support him. In fact, his story has the potential to be even more compelling because of his weekend trip to Cincinnati and the millions of potential dollars that evaporated with his step onto the scale.

It may be tempting to distinguish your situation from Deuce Lutui’s by saying, ‘Yes, but Deuce has gifts and opportunities that are exceptional, and he had lots of help. I don’t have what he has’.

The truth is that each of us has unique talents, skills and creativity that can be tapped at any moment. The clarity and degree of your commitment is the only barrier to achieving what you desire. In terms of support, there is very likely a network of people in your life ready, willing and able to support a real and visible commitment by you to make your life different. You simply have to be willing to enrol them.

When the chips are down and you are ready for your reality to be different than it is, your life can change in a single moment of choice—coupled with conscious commitment. If your journey feels uphill and against the wind, tap into your uniqueness. Commit to allowing it to serve you.

Only Deuce could stop himself from continuously living his commitment. Is it really any different for you?